


Writing's On The Hand

by nanisorero (miriam_lee)



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Gen, Relationship Discussions, Social Links, Writing on Skin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-02-29 17:25:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18782788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miriam_lee/pseuds/nanisorero
Summary: “What about you? Don’t you have anything you want me to draw a flower on?”Alternative development of the 5th SL event (because 'Nope' and 'I don't want one' are a poor reply choice, really) with a minor mind game based on Adachi's hang ups from p4ga.





	Writing's On The Hand

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in March and got tired of getting back to it with my never ending fixes.  
> It was supposed to be like 3 times shorter, but whenever I let these two exchange a few words, their (relatable) realistic/idealistic views clash in my head and it’s this kind of chats again and again..  
> 

“What about you? Don’t you have anything you want me to draw a flower on?”

Adachi had an almost expressionless face while voicing the question, and Yu couldn’t tell if the reason was exhaustion or some low-key sarcasm that he kept hearing in almost every line the detective addressed to him throughout that evening.

Not sure how to handle the situation, Yu lowered his eyes to the books on the table. Then it struck him, and after looking up at Adachi he held out his left hand.

The detective’s eyebrows immediately flew up in surprise, helping Yu realize that he’d managed to break through the pattern of expected reactions.

“Kid, what are you, ten?” Adachi still looked startled, but some subtle irritation was seeping through right onto his face as the corners of his lips twitched a little.

“You were the one who asked,” Yu shrugged with a slightly mischievous smile.

For almost a dozen seconds of silence he was peering into Adachi’s face vainly trying to read his emotions.

“I’ll go take stuff to my room and pack my schoolbag for tomorrow,” Nanako said sleepily and Yu wondered if she felt the change in the mood or was actually just tired. As she was collecting her color marker pens, he snatched the red one and held it out to the detective sitting across him.

In his turn, Adachi gave the pink pen that he’d been holding back to Nanako and smiled at her softly when she headed to the stairs. Then he fixed his eyes on Yu and took the red marker from his hand.

“Where d’you want it?” the detective asked, his emotions all back under control, exhaustion being the only one on the loose.

“Here?” Yu stretched out his fingers, exposing the thumb muscle.

He heard a tired sigh as Adachi reached for his hand over the table, and a mere moment later unexpectedly cold fingers circled on his left wrist. The detective leaned in with a marker pen in his right hand, and just when the red tip touched his skin Yu spoke up.

“Did I say something wrong?”

The marker froze and Adachi slowly lifted his face.

“Huh? What do you mean?”

The genuinely surprised reaction made Yu falter for a moment, as the hope that he’d just been imagining things attempted to blur his rationale. Still, he knew that it was already meaningless to back down. Just as he knew that writing everything off as overthinking would’ve meant downplaying the situation instead of actually dealing with it.

“I feel like you’ve been somewhat tense around me the whole evening, Adachi-san,” he explained, looking the detective straight in the face.

Adachi silently held Yu’s gaze and didn’t rush to disprove the accusation.

“Tense around you?” he chuckled at last and shook his head. “I’m not sure I follow, Yu-kun, but cut me some slack here. I’m just a sleep-deprived cop, who’s constantly forced to work overtime on a crazy murder case. You don’t have to play any major role in me feeling ‘tense’ in this life, y’know.”

Yu watched Adachi lean over his hand again.

“So you aren’t bitter at me in any way?”

“Why would I be?” this time, the detective didn’t even look up and touched Yu’s hand with the red marker. “I think you’re giving your intuition – or whatever it is – too much credit.”

For some reason Yu was convinced that this wasn’t a completely honest answer, but he had no idea how to insist on hearing one.

The grip of the thumb and the index finger on his wrist still let him feel the coldness of Adachi’s left hand, while the marker in the other one was tracing lines on his skin, slightly tickling it and making quiet scratchy sounds.

“..What’s the point in telling anyone they’re making you feel bad anyway, in general,” the detective suddenly added, his faraway look fixed on Yu’s hand that he was carefully holding with his chilly fingers. “Your feelings are yours alone and calling someone out for affecting them is meaningless. You won’t change someone else’s attitude toward you by saying you’re not comfortable or something,” he shrugged. “It’s not like you have the right to change anything in the first place. Everyone’s fully entitled to say that you’re free to walk away if you don’t like the way they treat you.”

“That’s only if they don’t care,” Yu contradicted and heard a mirthless laugh in response.

“Yeah. That’s how it actually is most of the time. And you can’t sort of ‘ask’ them to care. If they don’t, they won’t,” he breathed out an exhausted sigh. “Nothing you can do about it...”

His lips pressed tight, Yu was almost sure that the recent unfortunate relationship the detective had mentioned to him once at Junes was what made him arrive to such conclusions. Perhaps even not the recent one alone.

“Here it is. Your flower,” Adachi let go of Yu’s hand and straightened his back.

Yu looked at the red lines on his skin forming a much less elegant drawing than those he saw appear in Nanako’s copybooks ten or so minutes ago.

“Woah, it’s permanent.”

Having raised his eyes from his hand, Yu saw the detective lazily inspect the marker. In a second, Adachi shifted his gaze to Yu, the left corner of his mouth curling up.

“Have fun washing it off later, I guess.”

“I got what I asked for,” Yu shrugged with a chuckle and put the hand down on the table.

“Well,” the detective, in his turn, started to get to his feet, “I should get going. Nanako-chan’s probably preparing for sleep already and honestly, you’d better strive to match her in that schedule, not the shenanigans.”

Without saying anything, Yu smiled. He’d almost gotten used to the remarks on his ‘late evening partying’, marveling at how Adachi was always willing to spend some time together regardless.

Yu latched onto this idea, trying to ignore his recent unsettling observations as well as the sudden presentiment that he may soon run out of his luck with meeting the detective. But after what he’d just heard it wasn’t easy to calm the thoughts down.

Adachi was already in the dining area and heading for the front door when Yu got up to see him off.

“Adachi-san. If I ever make you feel out of sorts, could you tell me directly?”

He let the line slip despite himself and saw the detective freeze on the spot.

“You’re definitely overestimating your influence on me,” Adachi snickered, his back still turned to Yu. “And hey, I’ve just said that I think it’s meaningless.”

“And I’ve said it is so only if the other person doesn’t care,” Yu reminded. “I do.”

The room went silent for a few moments.

“..You seriously think it’s okay to care enough to be ready to change something about your own attitude? All just to make someone else feel better?”

“If I can do something that will make someone I care about feel better, it’ll make _me_ feel better,” Yu explained. “There may be even no need for changes, if the problem’s in the way things are perceived. That’s why it’s always worth to talk – to clear everything up and say what needs to be said.”

Adachi finally turned around and raised an eyebrow.

“ ‘Say what needs to be said’? You mean, to _lie_ to make somebody feel better?”

“I don’t think a lie can make anyone feel good, in the big picture,” Yu shook his head. “I’m talking about openly apologizing for the wrong words or actions."

The detective was silent for a while.

"What if an apology isn't enough?" he asked at last in a lower-than-usual voice.

"I never said it is. I'd need to point out the truth to someone who's lost sight of it because of something I said or did.”

“What if a person doesn’t _believe_ in your truth?” Adachi pressed on. “Say, I could be convinced I actually have no place in this home now. And no matter what you'd tell me I'd think you’re inviting me over because of pity or some hidden agenda.” He let one of the corners of his mouth turn up. “Hypothetically speaking.”

Yu furrowed his brow.

“Hey, I just said, ‘ _hypothetically_ ’,” seeing his confusion, the detective added.

His lips pursed, Yu pondered for some time before giving his answer.

“I want to believe I'd find the words to change your mind in this case,” he said. “But I would need you to wish for this change as well.”

“Let’s say I'd wish to think differently,” Adachi nodded and tilted his head a little. “But everything you'd tell me wouldn't sound compelling enough.”

“Then it’s the matter of trust, and I would offer to find a way to build or rebuild it first,” Yu replied, looking Adachi in the eye. “As I see it, it's all about talking things through and then taking necessary actions on both sides.”

With a chuckle, the detective closed his eyes and slowly shook his head.

“There’s just no end to your ‘good guy’ part, is there, Yu-kun? Struggling for your bonds to the end, doing everything you can to save them, huh..?”

“It's simply how I think things should be,” Yu shrugged.

A barely visible line between the eyebrows, Adachi opened his eyes and fixed them on Yu again.

“But you do realize that it’s not necessarily like that for other people, don’t you?” he asked in an unusually serious tone. “The majority puts their own comfort first. Most won’t even want to have these ‘talks’ you’re mentioning, ‘cause they’re exhausting and nerve-wrecking. Or they'll be willing to just talk without doing anything practical to fix a problem. You’re gonna stick to your idealism knowing that others won’t pay you back?”

“I know other people who think the way I do,” Yu smiled. “Even if there aren’t too many of them, it’s a good enough reason for me to not give up on my views.”

The detective didn’t react for a few moments and then also cracked a smile.

“Looks like finding a place among like-minded kids can give some confidence boost,” he chuckled. “Still, it makes me worried about how you’ll fit into the reality of adults. There’s hardly any place for idealism in it. Like it or not.”

Yu chose not to argue. Voicing his conviction that nothing can break his spirit seemed too arrogant.

“So, by asking me to speak my mind, you wanna make me one of such ‘fellow thinkers’, huh?”

“I don’t think you would talk about all this so knowingly if you already weren’t one, Adachi-san,” Yu said with the corners of his mouth softly curled up. “..Or hadn’t been some time ago, before it stopped working for you.”

Even if just for a split second, Adachi had a complex reaction on his face, but he didn't give Yu enough time for any interpretations and quickly replaced it with a silly laugh.

“Sheesh, someone here is playing detective round-the-clock now,” Adachi ruffled his hair. “But well, guess I can try talking things out someday. If you manage to trouble me somehow, that is.”

Yu couldn’t help but think back to the recent 'hypothetical' example. Yet he just tightened his left hand with a red drawing on his skin and chose not to dig into it. In the end, it was a chance to demonstrate his own trust.

“I hope the ‘troubling’ part won’t happen, though,” he smiled again.

Adachi replied with a smile of his own before turning around and heading for the door.

“Yeah, Yu-kun. Let’s hope it won’t.”


End file.
